Doctor Who - "The Curse of the Black Spot"

WHOSCALE: 5 out of 10

Following the season's opening two part story written by Steven Moffat, show newcomer Stephen Thompson is up to bat. 

Let me get something off my chest first: From this point on, the show will no longer be consider "Doctor Who," but instead called "The Fantasy Adventures of Amy and Rory."

It truly hurts to give this episode such a low score, because having kept up with production the year before, I was aware that much of the filming of this story would be set on a pirate ship. Although it was obvious that BBC did this to coincide with the release of the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" film, this episodes fundamental plot had tremendous potential to be a great episode of Doctor Who, in much the way the Fifth Doctor story "Enlightenment" was. However, much of that potential was flushed down the proverbial toilet in favor of senseless, mind-numbing drama amperage. When I say drama, I mean drama that isn't a natural result of the story, but is instead "forced" by scenes, music, sound effects, dialogue, etc. that in no form or fashion make their existence in the episode plausible. 

Russell T Davies was notorious for this kind of page-filling gimmick, but I think this episode has to give him a run for his money, in both meaningless drama and plot holes. I'll start with the absolutely pointless scenes that did nothing more than serve as a drama injection:

1) The Dancer (Chris Jarman), is marked by the Siren  the same time Rory does, and both are intoxicated by the Siren's song - which I'll get to in a moment. Both are marked, both intoxicated. Just to show audiences what happens when the Siren contacts a marked individual (since it was deliberately omitted in the pre-title sequence to add mystery), Jarman's character is allowed by all others standing right next to him - even his own shipmates - to just waltz up to the Siren. BAM! Jarman's character vanishes, and now everybody has a look of fright on their face. This sequence was entirely unnecessary, and is not even remotely plausible. It was written to reveal what we didn't see in the pre title sequence, as if that matters. I don't care WHAT the Siren does, what matters is that each time some is marked, they disappear without a trace!

2) The second time this happens, Toby accidentally drops the crown onto the deck. Everyone in the scene knows that the reflections are the method of entrance/exit by the Siren, and yet they all just stand and watch as the crown rolls across the deck and comes to a rest. No one panics until AFTER the Siren appears. What the fudgecake???????!!! That is so mind numbingly stupid that it makes me want to skip to the next episode. What's worse was the whole sequence was done in slow motion, to really pump up the drama factor. To quote Falco Lombardi, "Geez Loweez!"

3) The third pointless scene immediately follows number two. Toby has been marked since he was introduced. After the Siren appears, Toby is allowed to walk to her, his father watching the entire time and The Doctor. Again, no one goes in to "Oh noo!!!!" mode until AFTER Toby has been taken by the Siren. How is this scene believable???!! Captain Avery, who previously showed deep concern for his son, just lets him walk into the Siren's hands? (Literally.)

4) Why was Toby even in this story? His character had absolutely, positively, without any doubt NO PURPOSE. The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that he was there purely for the sake of heightening drama (more). Perhaps the producers think a kid in the episode helps the younger audience relate? Listen noobs, if you need a kid in a show of adults so that you can relate, you don't need to be watching. I grew up with Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Roj Blake, Kerr Avon and Commander Sinclair. I didn't need a kid in Star Trek to relate with Spock's preference for logic. I didn't need a kid in Blake's 7 to relate with Avon's lack of trust towards others. 

Now on to the plot holes. Oh, brother. This will take a minute. 

1) After it was established that the Siren could only enter through a stable reflection, the remaining crew decide to hole up in the ship's magazine until a storm comes and disrupts the ocean's surface, thus making a stable reflection impossible. There's violent wind and rain, and Rory get's thrown overboard. Unable to swim, apparently. The Doctor elects to release the Siren so that she will save a drowning Rory. To accomplish this, The Doctor opens a barrel of water on deck. So how did the wind, rain, and tossing of the ship not disrupt that reflection as well?

2) Probably the biggest plot hole of the entire episode was when The Doctor, Avery and Amy agree to prick their fingers to lure the Siren out. Still in the storm, the barrel is closed, yet seconds after pricking their fingers, the Siren appears without needing a stable reflection. 

3) Rory was saved by the Siren and placed on life support. While on the system, Rory is conscious, breathing normally and is talking to Amy. In order to breath normally, your lungs must be devoid of any kinds of fluids, particularly ocean water. When the life support is turned off, suddenly Rory jerks into a spasm because all of his breath is gone and he can't breathe. Let's assume the first part is plausible, and the Siren has removed the water from his lungs in order to sustain his life. Why would Rory die when taken off the life support? Now let's assume the latter is correct -  Rory is still on the verge of drowning. How is he breathing normally? How you GET your oxygen can be changed - technology can bypass your nose and mouth to get oxygen to your lungs, but once your lungs are incapacitated, the body has no way to filter the oxygen into the blood stream. Both cannot be true.

4) The same problem as three goes a step further at the close of the episode, where all of Avery's crew are shown to be off life support now, without gasping for air. Granted, most of them had minor cuts, but Toby was described as being deathly ill.

Now that I've got the most notable drawbacks out of the way, I'll touch on a few other things that really brought this episode down. 

The idea of the Siren was great, and I can see why it was necessary to cast a real-life model (Lily Cole) as the part, but her singing was a little to much like what we had just recently sat through in "A Christmas Carol." Once again, the singing is directly tied to the plot, this time as anesthesia. What really made me cringe was just after The Dance is taken, the Siren's singing changes notes to sync with the background music. 

On the subject of music, there was a little too much "Jack Sparrow" towards the end. The opening scene was scored well, but as the episode progressed to a climax, the music became more and more overpowering. 

Another thing that bothered me was how Captain Avery relatively took the place as the companion for this story. 

For those of you keeping up with how many times Rory has died, this episode makes his fourth death since his introduction as a TARDIS member in "The Vampires of Venice:"

Amy's Choice

Cold Blood

Day of the Moon (although he didn't actually get killed)

The final scene where Amy revives Rory was perhaps the hardest for me to watch. Gone With the Wind music, tear-filled eyes, hugs, kisses, lovey dovey Amy and Rory with The Doctor taking a place in the background of the scene. At this point, it was clear to me that once again we were dealing with a season that would chiefly revolve around the companions, and not The Doctor. Just to recap since 2005:

Series 1/Season 27 revolved around Rose, her connection to Bad Wolf, and her ultimately saving the universe from the Daleks.

Series 2/Season 28 further revolved chiefly around Rose and her growing feelings for the now regenerated- into-heart-throb David Tennant Tenth Doctor, as well as her making a decision to leave Mickey completely.

Series 3/Season 29 was probably the best in this department, focusing mainly on the words of The Face of Boe and the return of The Master. However, in the three part finale, the companion yet again is the one to saved the day.

Series 4/Season 30 introduced a more likeable companion for Whovians in the form of Donna Noble, but again disappoints at the close of the season by having it roughly revolve around Donna's inability to avoid The Doctor, and once more has the companion save the day from the Daleks. When was the last time The Doctor beat the Daleks? Remembrance of the Daleks?

Series 5/Season 31 introduced the Pandorica as the story arc element, but once again much of the season was aimed at exploring the personal relationship between Amy and Rory, Rory's jealousy towards The Doctor, and Amy's inability to choose between the two. In short, a rehash of Series 2/Season 28.

I apologize for this review being so lengthly, but I had a lot to cover. In closing, this episode had the potential to be something equal or greater than "Enlightenment," which is saying a lot, but was lost in the producers continuing effort to make a science fiction television program appeal to EVERYONE. I will never get through saying how foolish this approach is. You're either sci-fi or you're not. You can't be both, and if you try, you're only going to end up gaining half an audience from each genre. Doctor Who was, has, and should always be pure science fiction. If you eliminate the soapy drama, yes - fan girlies and Jersey Shore fans are going to put down the remote and walk away, but in their place will come the Harry Potter fans, the Tron fans, the Trekkies and so on. 

Doctor Who has the capacity to go anywhere, anytime. It should not be restricted by the wants and desires of an audience that get their kicks off two people being in a troubled relationship, love triangles, scandal and sexuality.